21 December, 2011

Happy Chanuka!

It's here at last - Happy Chanuka! Even before my eldest daughter was born on the first night of Chanuka, I think that it always was my favorite holiday. I mean, how wrong can you go when fried potatoes are your flagship food? Mmm, mm.

Anyway, I found myself a spare minute, so I'd like to quickly share two wonderful holiday bloopers. First up, this absolutely unbelievable one, from my good friend Dena!

That can't be real - they must be taking the mickey out of us :) I've lived here for almost half my life, but some things still shock me. This, for example! Thanks so much, Dena!

And, sent in completely separately by her son Micha, here's another excellent holiday specimen:

Erm... it may be extraordinarily priced, but yeah, I think I'll pass on that dreidel.
Thanks, Micha!

Fantastic finds, both! Have a wonderful, wonderful Chanuka, everyone! 

Oh, and of course I'll post this to Lesley's weekly meme, Signs, Signs. See you there!

05 December, 2011

A little more catching up

Well well, it's been a while! Time is flying by, Chanuka is almost upon us, but it's important to stop every so often and make time for some ridiculous signs. And we are blessed with lots of them! For example....

Dave found this one for me, can you see it? Feel free to click on the photo, if you'd like a closer view:
I like mash potatoes, but I *love* root beer! Oh, but wait, this isn't exactly root beer - what does that say? And anyway, after living here for as long as I have, I know that they're just teasing me. Black Beer, as this would be directly translated from the Hebrew, has nothing to do with Root Beer at all. It's some kind of malt thing, in an entirely different beverage category. Ah, what I wouldn't give for a root beer float! My birthday is coming up, people...

Dave also grabbed this one, while walking through Jerusalem:
This is just a typo, it doesn't have any particularly ridiculous alternate meanings, but it's the size of the thing that gets me. This sign is taller than I am - it cost someone an awful lot of money! You'd think that they'd want to just check once that it didn't have any mistakes, wouldn't you? No, I guess not. I mean, no one really reads the English anyway, right? It's just for show... and to give me blogging material! Thanks, Dave!

Next up, this one is from Gidon:
This one might not seem funny to those of you who aren't familiar with religious Jewish studies, but for the rest of us, it's just absurd. This sign says "HaNetziv" in Hebrew. The Netziv was a brilliant scholar, and well deserving of having his name on a street or two, not to mention a Kibbutz! And yet, in the one country in the world that should recognize his name, they went and called him the Netzuv. Sheesh. Thanks for bringing this one, Gidon!

This one was found for me by two separate friends, Yaffa and Meira. It's really nutty, buckle up:

I don't even know where to start with this one. Well, I guess we can start at the beginning - perhaps they were trying to say mind blowing
This one borders on being as bad as those signs that people find in China. Unbelievable! I whish I had more of them... Thanks, Yaffa and Meira!

Here's one that our friend Nizan found:
In related news, I'm pretty sure that these machines are on their way to becoming illegal, so one way or another, the government is stepping in to remove this ridiculous typo from our streets! Thank you, Bibi! And thanks, Nizan!

A long, long time ago, Mirj found a huge typo for me in Raanana. At the time, we thought it was just silly - but now I'm thinking that it's possible that it's just how they spell coming in Raanana - maybe it's actually a dialect thing?
Thanks, Mirj!

And last for now, here's something I found right here, on our local Efrat-chat list:

Ah, that's the stuff. I've got nothing to add, folks - just have a great day, my treat! And a happy holiday season to all of us!

Oh, and for more interesting signage from all over the world, feel free to check out Lesley's blog, Signs, Signs. You'll be glad you went!

30 October, 2011

Funny Signs Before You

Well, we're all settling back into life here in Israel. That fabled time of the year called acharei hachagim (after the Holidays) has descended upon us, and we're expected to begin living productive lives once again. 

And so I thought I'd carry on sharing some treasures with you that have been building up in my inbox, just waiting anxiously to be posted. Thanks to all my faithful spies, who found these for me all over the country! Let's start with this one from Yoel, who found this sign in Jerusalem:

I sneakily blocked out the name here, so as not to further embarrass this person of great importance. If you're looking for a rabinical lowyer, he's your guy! It doesn't get any lower than this, folks. Contact Yoel if you need more information :)

Next up, from Micha, who has been contributing quite the lion's share of funny signs. Here's one he found in his hotel room in Eilat:

Just read that one more time, carefully... hah! How much does the phone's room usually charge? Is this actually a deal? Thanks, Micha!

Here's one from my good friend Rachel, who found this wonderful piece of cookware:

That's amazing! I know that I love a hot bowl of fried dish soup as much as the next guy. And with this pot, I'd never have to wait! I'm just saying, my birthday isn't that far away... thanks, Rach!

And last for now, here's one taken by me! Remember me?
Here in Efrat, we've been blessed with some local road construction. The powers that be took a very dangerous intersection and made it far safer, and although this made getting around quite tricky for awhile, I for one am grateful for the final product. Anyway, these signs can now be seen around our area:

Before you, do you see that? This is a great example of Heblish, that new language that our children speak so well, and that is helpfully translated for us by Mrs. S., of Our Shiputzim fame. This sign doesn't mean before you, it means ahead. But the sign guy doesn't speak English, so how should he know? And anyway, no one really reads the English on these signs anyway, especially not in Gush Etzion, so there's no need to proofread...

Ha! What a great week this was! Thanks everyone, for your contributions, and for stopping by! Happy Acharei haChagim to you all!

11 October, 2011

Way back when

In my continuing attempt to catch up, here are some funny signs that were sent to me. How about I just don't tell you how long ago they were sent to me :)

Micha, who has found many funny items for us over the years, has now recruited his grandfather as a new foreign correspondent for A Time of the Signs. Here's a doozy he found for us, all the way in Berlin!
Micha aptly asked: you mean if we are thin enough to qualify for one?
Thanks for thinking of me, guys!

And lucky me, I have another new foreign correspondent - my dear brother in law Andy found this on his printer paper, all the way in Rochester, New York. The small print is important on this one, so feel free to click on the photo if you need to enlarge it!
Wow, and I thought I was indecisive! Thanks, Andy!

There's an Israeli FAIL bloopers site that I really enjoy called Keshel. Most of the things they post are funny for Hebrew speakers only, but they found this, and I totally can't resist sharing it with you all! Spotted at the Candyland shop, right here in Israel:
Ah, that's the stuff :)

And lastly (for now) my dedicated husband (the Balashon) found this for me while walking through the streets of Jerusalem. 
I remember back in grammar school, we were often given English quizzes with poorly built sentences. They were full of capitalization and punctuation errors, and we were supposed to correct them. Truthfully, I haven't thought of those things for years, and yet somehow, looking at this sign, I'm instantly swept 25 years back in time... is it just me?

That's all for now, folks - have a great Sukkot! And for those of you not celebrating Sukkot, have a great week anyway!

02 October, 2011

It's been too long!

I miss you guys! It's been a long, wonderful summer, but I want to blog again! And so, now that my life has been slowly calming down, I've decided to rearrange my schedule and make time for funny signs once again. Thanks to all of you, my virtual fans, for waiting patiently!

And so, with no further ado - here goes!

Do you all know Dina, my fellow Israeli blogger? She takes beautiful, insightful and interesting photos all around the Jerusalem area - you should check out her blog, if you haven't already! Anyway, she found this excellent, ridiculous specimen in Tel Aviv at the beginning of the summer (see her post for more details):
That really is just gorgeous - what a tremendously fancy typo! I'm pretty sure that even putting bon voyage here is inappropriate - I don't think that people leaving the fair are going on a voyage per se. But they certainly aren't going on a vayage! Thanks for thinking of me, Dina! 

My dear husband found this bizarre, bizarre sign for me while walking through Jerusalem. Buckle up:
Is it just us? Is yummy really the feeling they're looking to invoke?

And just to make us feel better about Israeli bloopers - Micha found this for me while he was vacationing in New York City! For shame, NYC, for shame...
That one's actually a little tricky - do you see it? Good eye, Micha!

Thanks so much, all of you - tune in again soon for more! Shana Tova, everyone - have a sweet and wonderful new year!

06 July, 2011

Bring me some Roasted Egplanet!

Micha has brought us a zinger! He went to Pizza Sababa in Jerusalem, and was kind enough to photograph their wonderful, wonderful menu. Take a look for yourselves! (And feel free to click on the photos, if you'd like to enlarge them.)

This is just so wonderfully entertaining - thank you, Micha! As seen in the title of this post, my definite favorite is the Egplanet - but there are just so many to choose from! And look closely - quite a few of these aren't typos, but just ridiculous mistranslations. Would you like some Home Dough, with a glass of Natural? Ah, I love it - how many bloopers can you find?

As always, I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Have a great week, everyone!

23 June, 2011

Need a decongestant?

I have a few online friends who have supplied me with tremendous finds over the years. When I first started this blog, almost every one of the bloopers I posted had been found in person by me! But the fact is, having spies all over the country (and world, for that matter) makes this a lot easier. And it creates a sense of community - I feel like I'm giving people who feel the way I do about typos a place to vent :)

Anyway, one of my very first posts-by-correspondent was from Mirj, who lives in Raanana and has an excellent eye for these things. I'm grateful for all of her help over the years - just search my blog for Mirj, and you'll see that there are quite a few entries :) And she's come through for us again - bigger and better than before. Just look at what she found oozing in the freezer section at her local grocery store!

For those of you who can't read the Hebrew, that was translated from Frozen Goose Ribs. There may be a better way to say Goose Ribs, but I'm fairly sure that it isn't Chest Gooze...

Yich! As Mirj so aptly said, this sounds like a phlegmy chest infection. And if the meat is from Belgium, then a Flemmy chest infection... what could I possibly add? Thanks, Mirj!

She now has a blog of her own which is far more impressive than mine - it's a fantastic source for great stories and yummy recipes - you should check it out at your soonest convenience, if you haven't already!

Oh, and I'll post this (naturally) to Lesley's weekly meme, Signs, Signs. It's a fun place to look if you'd like to see interesting signage from all over the world! Have a great week, everyone!

08 June, 2011

A little help from my friends - once again

You know, growing up as a nerdy little kid, I really never expected to have fans of any kind. And now, lucky me, people from all over Israel (and all over the world, for that matter) keep sending me goofy typos that they've come across. I can never decide whether or not it's a good thing that people think of me when faced with bad grammar and ridiculous signage, but it is what it is. I've decided to accept it as a positive thing! And it makes me feel good to know that I'm not the only one who notices this stuff... :)

And so, with no further ado, here are some interesting items that I've received. First up is from Daniela, who reviews Israeli food products on her blog - always helpful! She found this at KFC in the Malcha mall in Jerusalem:

When I put patates into Google Translate (our favorite website - check out here why it's even cooler than we thought) it popped up as the Turkish word for potatoes. I'm pretty sure that it's the same thing in French, which makes sense here, but it definitely is not English. Hey - maybe the whole thing is French? That would actually be pretty progressive. Whatever, this looked like a mess to Daniela, and I'm inclined to agree. Thanks for sending it in!

Second - here's another gem from Mirj, my longtime reader and online pal. She had a culinary adventure right around Valentine's Day, and found this funky sign in the restaurant bathroom:

Thankfully, she had her camera handy. I love this sign - thanks, Mirj!

And lastly, here are two funny search pop-ups from my dear husband, the Balashon:

A sad, sad commentary on our world. But if you think that's bad, try this one:

Why, yes, I did mean doogle dots, that's exactly what we were looking for! However did you guess?

Thanks, everyone - keep these coming! 

Oh, and for more sign photography, check out Lesley's meme right now, at Signs, Signs. Have a great day, everyone!

26 May, 2011

Be my, be my baby!!

Here's an email posted to our local community chat group a little while ago. Maybe we should call the police?

Is it just me? Maybe it's just me. But hey - it's my blog - so I'm posting it anyway :)

I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Go right now if you'd like to check out more cool signage from all over the world!

Have a great week, everyone!

19 May, 2011

Just some quickies

Sorry I haven't been around much - my life is getting the better of this blog! But never fear, true readers, in my heart I haven't abandoned you! I've just neglected you a teensy bit :) Anyway, I'll try to make up for it by posting a few good bloopers that I have here, waiting in the wings.

First, here's a funny one from my friend Varda. She found this quite a while ago on her package of dill, which is shamir in Hebrew. 

Corundum? Varda thinks maybe they thought that dill is actually coriander, and got confused. But considering that dill isn't coriander, and that corundum isn't coriander either, this is altogether bizarre. It definitely reconfirms my long-held suspicion that Israelis are pretty sure that no one actually reads the English on their labels - it's just good to slap something on there if you'd like a more professional look :)
Thanks, Varda!

Second up: this one from our friend Ricky. He found these knives in the grocery store, and was kind enough to grab a photo for me!

This thankfully looks like it wasn't written in Israel, but just arrived with the merchandise which was bought overseas. That means that I can enjoy the absurdity of the language without secretly feeling embarrassed about the ignorance of my countrymen! Thanks, Ricky!

And here's a news story shown to me by my friend Dena, a few months ago. It's just goofy! Just to explain: Blue Square is the name of the company that owns some grocery store chains here in Israel.

Okay, maybe they're moving away from selling some Tnuva products. But guys, who's going to clean that up??
Thanks, Dena!

And last but not least: this was flying around the internet yesterday, and was generously forwarded to me by Gidon, Dave, Ariel and Rachel! Wow. Generally when things go viral like that, I get a bit suspicious that they're fake. But still - four of you sent it to me (an all-time record), so I feel a bit obligated to share it with everyone else, just in case. Enjoy!!

I'm not even sure where to start with that one. So I'll just leave it as is, for you to enjoy. I will say this, though: Google Translate has made the world a much more entertaining place!

And as always, I'm posting this (a little late) to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Go there now, if you'd like to see more fun signage photography! Have a great day, everyone!

27 April, 2011

Oh. My. Cod.

Here's a quick and easy one from my friend Ariel. She's found some great signs for us in the past, and I'm always grateful to her for thinking of me. This is no exception! 

The sales tax on this receipt (not to mention all the English) shows us that it isn't from Israel, which is especially wonderful! Typos in other countries make me feel like Israel's typos aren't really so bad, considering :)

Thanks again, Ariel! 

For more sign photography, go to Lesley's cool meme, Signs, Signs. Have a great week, everyone!

13 April, 2011

Way out!

It's almost Passover! Jews all over the world are getting ready for a week of unleavened items. Here at my house we've finally finished off all of the various  kinds of flour and things that contain flour, and we're almost ready to break out the matza!

But Rena, my very favorite vegan, was apparently ready a few weeks ago. She found this label and thoughtfully sent it to me. 

See? It says, "Out Flour!" Evidently she had a good head start, and has been using products that endorse banning flour use. Oh, wait, what's that? Ohh... I see. It's supposed to say *Oat* flour. My mistake :)

Thanks for thinking of me, Rena!

Naturally, I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Have a great week, everyone! And a great Passover!

05 April, 2011

I don't want to go on and on about it, but...

I'm honored today to present you with a silly sign that was sent to me by a friend from way back, who only just recently moved to Israel! And she's already proving quite useful as a signage spy, too - whereas I'm generally located in the greater Jerusalem area, she's located way up North, in Teverya. What fun! I'm so happy to have a new correspondent - welcome aboard, Ester! And just look at what she found for us:

Ah... just lovely. After so many years of living here, and over three years blogging, I still can't help but giggle at this stuff! I erased the phone number, for fear that you might be tempted to call Jacob day and night... I know I am!

Oh, another noteworthy item - Dina found a fantastic sign in Tel Aviv recently - well worth checking out! If you haven't seen her blog before, take a look around - she's always got really interesting photos from the Jerusalem Hills and beyond!

And for those of you who haven't seen it, you *must* watch this entirely hilarious video, in honor of our (all too soon) upcoming Passover holiday! It's a look at what a modern, online Exodus from Egypt might look like, and it's just tremendously funny - enjoy!

Naturally I'm posting this to Lesley's fun meme, Signs, Signs! I'll see you there! Have a great week, everyone!

24 March, 2011

Happy Belated Purim!

For those of you who may not know, we celebrated Purim this past Sunday. Purim is one of Judaism's most fun-filled holidays, with lots of happy social interaction, dressing up, and of course, good food! I was really hoping for a funny Purim sign or label to post here, and I sadly didn't find anything too outrageous. But I'm lucky enough to have some on-the-ball friends who both found this wonderful, perfect specimen - first time contributor Yonina, and veteran contributor Dena. You guys saved the day - thanks so much! And now, with no further ado:

This is a package of Hamantaschen, those traditional, three-cornered Purim cookies. In Hebrew they're oznei haman, which is a whole other mix-up, but we can save that post for my dear husband, the Balashon. Anyway, these date-filled ones are grossly mislabeled - first off, and most obviously, the palm flavor is really off-putting. No? Is it just me? I don't know about all of you, but it makes me actually grimace - maybe I'm just thinking of palm oil... But even if they were palm flavored, I'm pretty sure they would be Palm Flavored Ozney Haman, and not Ozney Haman Palm flavored. And also, why are all of the words capitalized except for flavored? Did they run out of capitals, just then?

This is frustrating, and yet so very, very entertaining :)

Anyway, I'm posting this to Lesley's weekly meme, Signs, Signs. Go check it out! Have a great week, everyone!

17 March, 2011

We're on the map!

I've been a bit busy with life lately - nothing in particular, but somehow I seem to have less time than usual for things online. I don't want to abandon my loyal fans, though, and so I'm taking a minute to post this doozy, kindly sent in by my friend Dena. She's found so many of these for me that at this point, I'm thinking I should just turn over the whole blog to her! Anyway, here's the latest - thanks so much, Dena!

Maybe I should explain: mapa is the Hebrew word for tablecloth, something that often makes us immigrants laugh. Maps and tablecloths are a little similar, if you look for it - they're both big flat sheets that can be folded up, right? But now, here comes another example of good old Israeli know-how. The word is mapa, they've heard the word map, what could be easier? They must go together, right? No need to ask an English speaker - anyone can speak English! It's so easy! 

You've got to love it :)

Once again, I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, signs. Have a great week, everyone!

10 March, 2011

Shouldn't they know better?

Hello all! 

This week I present you with two funny posts sent to me all the way from the U.S. of A! I personally love mistakes found in native English speaking countries - they make me feel so much better about our situation here in Israel. And so, with no further ado - here's one that was thoughtfully sent to me by Sheva:

This menu was found in her local Chinese restaurant, in Baltimore. Can you find the mistake? Personally, I always run for chocolate, and I imagine truffles are even more tempting. But as Sheva points out, perhaps serving things like french fries and chocolate at a Chinese restaurant should be our cue to run :)
Thanks for thinking of me when you saw this, Sheva!

Here is number two, found by my friend Dena's parents, while they were in New Orleans. Dena calls this "the most self-evident sign ever," and I'm inclined to agree:

I mean - yes, okay, it's true - but really? How necessary is this sign? I love it! Thanks, Dena and family!

Oh - I wanted to share one more with you - this is something from our friend Shlomo. It's not American, but it's an Israeli take on an American product, and I found it very funny:

Do you see it? Do you see it? Yeah, there - the only English in the ad :) This one is particularly fantastic because cat is exactly how Israelis would pronounce cut. So I'm pretty sure that someone was convinced that this was the proper spelling. And naturally, working at a newspaper, they wouldn't have access to an actual English speaker - yeah right :) 

That's all for now - don't forget to check out Lesley's great meme: Signs, signs!  And have a great week, everyone!

22 February, 2011

Tsfat - Say Cheeze!

I don't know how many of you are aware of my other, prettier blog, but I do have one! I started it a little over a year and a half ago, initially because I wanted an outlet to show my mother all the beautiful things that I see on a daily basis. But on my very first post, Leora introduced me to the world of photoblog memes, and I'm officially addicted. I'm now on a constant search for interesting shadows to post on Sundays, good close-ups to post on Mondays, red items for Ruby Tuesdays, architecture for Wednesdays, and of course, nice sky shots for Fridays. Just ask my poor, neglected family how much of my time I spend "just posting one thing," or pulling off to the side of the road to get a shot of something that won't wait. Of course, you're all invited to check it out on a regular basis, if you like! Ah, but I digress. 

The point was supposed to be this: for the last few Wednesdays, I've been posting pretty photos of various windows and doors that we found in Tsfat over this past summer, during a few hours that we spent there. There are some gorgeous things in Tsfat, and even though we weren't there for long, I took an awful lot of photos. Anyway, while looking through them all to find the shots of windows and doors, I came across a few funny signs, too. For example:

Is that a command? Get going, Avni!

Whenever I try to say that one out loud, it seems to adopt an Italian accent, I'm not sure why... 

And now, for my favorite:

It's true, I know that Safed is technically one of the many acceptable spellings of Tsfat. But the cheeze really had me smiling here! And when you put the safed next to the cheeze, it's even better! I'm envisioning some very secure cheeze, all locked up in shackles :)

That's all for now, folks - have a great week! And, to stick with our theme, do go check out Lesley's meme - Signs, Signs, to see interesting signage from all over the world! Have a great week, everyone!

17 February, 2011

A little help from my friends - the final episode (for now)

Okay, then, here is the last one. I really mean it! Yes, I know that I've been saying the same thing for the last few weeks, but really, this is it. Here's the last group of funny photos submitted to me from over a year ago. Then we can move on to posting the more recent ones :)

Nothing to it but to do it!

Here's a great sign from Dena, my ever-loyal sign scout:

That one reminds me of the way my kids occasionally speak. I remember once when they were much younger, and someone was in someone else's way, one of my kids said, annoyed, "You're making me not have any space!!" To which I thought - yeah, all those words technically make sense, but a native English speaker would just say, "You're squishing me!!" Likewise, yes, "merge" and "fit together" are pretty much the same thing. But - really? That's what you wanted to write, out here in front of everyone? Hmm. Anyway, thanks Dena!

Number two in today's lineup - from Ricky, my good friend and contributor:

Okay, the obvious mistake here also isn't such an obvious one to non-English speakers. We don't say trousers, we say pairs of trousers, right? But what I find to be much funnier here is that they claim to be the leading producers of laundry. I thought that they're supposed to produce the clean clothing, while we customers provide the laundry, no? I mean, are they going to charge us for unprecedented amounts of stained clothing? Interesting - maybe I should try making money like that...

Here are some menu bloopers sent to me by one of my very best virtual friends, Mirj:

Various typos, strange translations, misplaced apostrophes, random capitalization - what can I say? Velcome to Izrayel!

And here's a crazy one from Rachel, who presents us with this one. The product is a cool idea - twist ties on demand. But what the heck is going on with the packaging? (The picture is split into two halves, but you get the idea.)

Embroider? Prick? I feel like Inigo Montoya, from the Princess Bride, who said, in one of his very best lines, You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Oh, and look, continuing with the Inigo theme, here at the bottom we have a sword! The sword seems to be closest to its actual meaning - I mean, the place where one cuts the twist ties is sharp, like a sword, right? (Whereas I'm still not clear on what the embroider is referring to.) But here's another funny thing - presuming that embroider, prick and sword were exactly the words they were going for, apparently they didn't even know where the sword was supposed to go :) (Guys! It's to the left!)

Well, I think that's all, folks! Please join us again next week for your regular installment of funny signage mistakes, mostly seen here in Israel, the land I love. Have a great week, in the meantime! 

Oh, and don't forget to check out Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs, if you'd like to see more sign-oriented photography! Some of it is really interesting, and even beautiful - it's worth a visit!